There is a time for every blogger or gamer to step away for a while and deal with the elusive “RL” thing. In most cases, it seems to be a new job, a new home, a natural or personal catastrophe and in many cases people re-surface – if at all – changed. In most cases for the better. These enforced times of absence are cleansing in a way that virtually all religions value fasting in a way to focus on what is essential in life.
My real life has hit likely one of the most frantic periods I have ever experienced. True, this time around my job does not require me to travel 60% of the time like I used to (often international and often with extremely short notice) but we are up for some product release and it is, as they say, “balls to the wall”. I also choose to believe that our product will save lives, to be part of this, I always aspired to and I am proud to be part of it. So, that’s a job with a 50 mile commute (each way). Add to this that we closed on and moved house in the week when quite literally a hurricane ran over our county and both my regular readers will understand that I was kinda “busy”.
So, what does this mean for the EVE?
Well, I do have my friends from EVE on jabber during the day. They chat about IT stuff (all of them are geeks) which often sounds like complete gibberish to me but is very entertaining. Then they talk about ship fittings which I have never been good at. I tend to buy what people tell me and if it doesn’t fit, I cry for help on our Alliance forums. Then people talk about social media stuff and I learned recently what NSFW means when I opened a link an alliance mate who hails from a very progressive country (Sweden, I am looking at you Morindius) threw into jabber. Of course I opened it at work. Of course, my office mate saw it. Of course, I went beet-red. But chatter about upcoming patches (sorry, “expansions”) don’t really touch me, Jester feels disconnected and I can’t even focus on the excellent fan fiction of my friend Mme Thalys .
I am – like it or not – drifting away from the game, its people, its allure, its values and its attractions. Even now, it is is 20:18, I just came home from work and my next conference call is not until 21:00, I could log in and chat but I don’t feel the urge.
Personally, I don’t think its a problem. People move on and appreciate different things. I left WoW one day, on my main character in Dalaran and had this insight that I was “done” with that game. I was in a good guild but I logged and never went back. My exit from New Eden will likely be that way also – some day.
But it is not this day. I drift away but I am attached to the guys and gals who accompanied me for so long. I feel friendship on a level that I had never anticipated from a computer game towards several of them and am sad that we are all continents apart. I wished we could all just meet up, chill out, drink beer and move our relationships from the pixelated world into the world of meat and bone (and liver!). But this is highly unlikely. We just have to deal with the fact that we are an internet community and internet friends. It may last forever, it may last a lifetime but it may never be in the physical space. And thats ok, thats just the time we live in.
As for my EVE game? I intent to come back to the game as soon as RL lets me (December looks quiet). I will shoot sleepers and other players, stalk, learn, teach, lose ships and generally “play” the game. I will blog and write fiction but my EVE related activity will be more conscious, more measured, more deliberate.
And I think, better….